Joe's Secret
by Aaunty Pasta
Summary: Joe had a secret that died with him save for the contents of a safety deposit box. When Angie gives the key to Frank at her wedding, he must decide what to do with the information.
1. Chapter 1

Joe's secret

All belongs to CBS.

Spoilers for the 7th season episode "The one that got away." And possibly others.

This story may be confusing, but I swear it will make sense in the end.

Rated T for scene with sex innuendo.

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No man is an island entire of itself. Every man is a piece of the continent, part of the main… Any man's death diminishes me for I am involved in mankind. Therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee. – John Dunne

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With one hand, he dropped the key into the envelope before sealing it. Turning it to the front, he wrote is father's name in his neat handwriting before he picked it up and examined it. He slid it into the bottom of his girlfriend's jewelry box—the one filled with her grandmother's jewelry that she rarely wore—and closed it before putting it back on its shelf.

Ten years later…

Angela Ferraro was happier than she had been in years—since her former boyfriend, Joe Reagan, had been killed in the line of duty—and just a little nervous. She had invited Joe's family to the wedding.

Looking for the something old, she dug into her grandmother's jewelry box, left to her 12 years ago upon her death, only to find a sealed envelope. It was just starting to yellow with age so Angie thought that perhaps her grandmother had left her some loving message—until she turned it over. On the front of the envelope was written Commish Frank Reagan. It was in Joe's handwriting.

Tomorrow, she would be marrying another man in the presence of Joe's much loved family and here was a tangible reminder that he had existed in her life. He had put it there for a reason, but Angie had no time to find that reason. It would be up to Frank and his family to find it.

Seven years before…

Lena Morgan gripped the hand of Elizabeth, her fourteen-year-old daughter, as tears ran down her face and the bagpipes played "Amazing Grace." In the front of St Patrick's Catholic Church, her husband Andrew lay in repose as mourners passed by, saying goodbye before turning to her and offering their condolences. One man, sporting a full beard and wearing a black fedora touched Andrew's hand before turning to her and offering a bouquet of purple and white flowers to Elizabeth.

"I'm sorry for your loss," the man told her in a raspy voice.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Lizard," Lena spoke softly to her daughter, using the nickname she had gone by since she was a toddler. Lizard took the cap her mother offered, her father's spare uniform cap, and put it on her head.

The music ended and one of the workers from the funeral home closed the casket, rearranging the Police flag and array of flowers and returning to a chair just out of sight at the front of the church. Lena and Lizard and the rest of the assembled sat in their designated pews as New York Commissioner Francis Reagan took a place at the podium.

He cleared his throat before he began. "As someone who has been to far too many police funerals, it is not often that I speak at the funeral of someone who I knew personally. Detective Andrew was a great friend to my son, Joe, as well as a good NYPD officer and most importantly, husband to Lena and father to Elizabeth."

"Lizard," Lena's daughter corrected with a whisper.

Lena gripped her daughter's shoulder with a tight smile as Frank went on.

"I had the distinct pleasure of getting to know Detective Morgan and his family on many occasions and have been privy to just how good a man he was." Frank paused to look down at Lena as if asking her permission to release a well guarded secret. "Some of you may not know that Elizabeth," he leaned forward to address the child in question. "Who everyone calls Lizard," he straightened back up with a light smile. "Was not his child…" He stopped to let that sink in and took a breath. "Although, he adopted her and was her daddy in every way that really mattered."

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January 17, 2001

Lena would always remember the exact date she met him in person. Andrew had flown out from New York to meet her and the daughter she called Lizard. He drove to the small town in Wyoming from the Billings airport to meet them. They had met in a chat room of single parents looking for partners. Lena was a single mother, and Andrew desperately wanted to be a father, but couldn't due to a serious accident when he was a teen.

Lena had trouble trusting, but something about Andrew compelled her to do so. After two weeks of meeting her family and answering their numerous questions and threats of, "If you hurt her…" she was sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

Snuggled up together on the couch in her tiny house with Andrew on one side and Lizard on the other with her head in her mother's lap, Lena spoke. "You're gonna marry me, right?"

"You want me to?" Andrew asked.

Lena turned her head up to him and smiled. "You know my mom asked my dad to marry her, too," she told him. "They were married after only a month and have been married over 30 years."

"Even though I'm a cop?"

"I'd marry you if you were a frog."

Andrew reached into his pocket. "I hope it's OK if I give you a ring," he said as he handed her an old ring box. "Even though you were the one to do the asking."

Lena smiled and opened the box. "Was it your mom's?"

He nodded as he slipped it on her left hand. "My mom's, my grandma's and my great-grandma's."

Lena looked at the ring as it sparkled in the dim light from the TV. She liked the antique and the great tradition behind it. "It'll do," she said.

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Angie finally caught Frank alone as he was saying goodbye at the end of her reception. "I found this in my grandmother's jewelry box," she told him as she handed him the envelope. "Joe put it there, but I don't know when or why." She paused to kiss his cheek then wiped away the smear of lipstick she had left.

Frank looked at the envelope for a bit before slipping it in his jacket pocket. "Thank you," he said. "And good luck."

Angie nodded to him and turned to the next person who was leaving.

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"… It was then that the boat capsized and all four of them ended up in the pond," Frank finished the story for the assembled funeral. "Joe and Andrew helped the girls back to shore, but the girls were furious with them and from what I heard, gave them the silent treatment for several days." He paused as Lena wiped away a tear. "That was just the kind of friend Andrew was. Fun-loving, supportive and most of all loyal. To the only family he had left—his wife, their daughter, his friends, and the NYPD." He cleared his throat. "I'm sure all who knew him will remember him fondly."

He stepped from behind the podium and down the steps to stand next to the coffin. He placed a hand on it. "Say hey to Joe for me when you get there," he said softly before turning to face his widow and child. His breath caught as Lizard stepped forward and he saw not the diminutive fourteen-year-old, but a miniature version of Joe.

Frank blinked, but the image didn't change. Lena stepped forward and broke the spell as she reached forward to shake his hand.

"Thank you for your kind words," Lena told him. "I'm glad you could speak."

"You're welcome," Frank replied with a smile.

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"I'm starting at John Jay College in the fall," Joe told the girl beside him as they sat on the dock, feet hanging in the water. Summer was just beginning and he had met a girl he wanted to get to know better. "But for now, I'm just corralling kids around here." He threw the rock he had been holding in his hand into the reflective surface of the water and watched the rings it made spread out.

She nodded. "I haven't been to New York City since I was a kid," she said. "We moved back to Wyoming when I was six because my grandma got sick. I went to Black Hills University last year and hope I am still going back this fall." She shrugged. "I failed a couple of classes because all I wanted to do was study sign language."

"Why don't you major in that?" Joe asked. "Then find someone else to tutor you in your other classes using sign language."

"That is a good idea," she said with a shake of her head. "I can be so stupid sometimes."

"I don't think you're stupid," Joe said pleasantly. "Just intense."

"What's your name?" she asked.

Joe hesitated. It hadn't been that long since his grandfather had been forced out as the NYPD commissioner and the name might be familiar to her or someone else at the New Jersey summer camp. He focused back on her and gave her his name. "Joe Conor," he said. "My name's Joe Conor." He paused for her to give her name.

"Lena," she said. "Lena O'Brian."

"Nice to meet you," Joe said and he reached out to shake her hand. His hand tingled when he pulled it back and he smiled at the lake before him.

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Lena hadn't quite finished filling out her daughter's birth certificate when the pain came on. Her scream of pain brought the nurses running. She clutched at her head as one of the nurses took the crying baby from her arms and another shone a light in her eyes. "You better get the doctor," she told nurse with the baby as Lena collapsed into her bed.

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Three-year old Adam Rey was the apple of his mom's eye, but tended to be a handful. When he slipped from the restraints of his stroller, his mom, talking to a friend, didn't notice. Joe, however, did. But when the boy ran into the street in front of a car, Joe knew he wouldn't be able to get there in time. Someone else, however, was.

Lena O'Brian Morgan ran out and grabbed the boy, tossing him to Joe, who caught him as easily as he might have caught a fastball at a baseball game. The tires of the cab screeched to a stop, but not before the car struck her, tossing her several feet where she rolled to a stop. Adam's mother, crying and hysterical about her son's almost demise took the boy from Joe and followed him to see if Lena was OK.

Lena was barely holding to consciousness and she felt the hands grip her face.

"Don't move," Joe ordered.

Lena gripped her left arm to her side with her right as she looked up into Joe's face. She recognized the older face and lower voice and smiled. "I know you, Joe Conor," she said. "You're my baby daddy!"

Her eyes slipped closed and she fell into unconsciousness as Joe gripped her face, afraid her spine was injured. In a moment of clarity, he suddenly remembered her too.

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He kissed her one last time, their sweat-washed bodies pressed into one another on the cool sand under the dock where they had exchanged names at the beginning of the summer. "I wish I didn't have to go," Lena said.

"Me too," Joe replied, his mouth hovering over hers. "I've never felt like this before."

"Me either," she replied. She breathed in. "I'll write if you will."

"Every day," Joe replied and kissed her again.

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Lena licked the stamp and placed it on the corner of the letter. Addressed to the address Joe gave her before she left the camp in New Jersey, it was ready to be sent and contained the very important news that Joe was going to be a father. She had only received one letter from him since they parted, but she figured that he was as busy as she was and had little time for letters. She told him of the baby then promised to write after said baby was born with the gender and name. If he didn't want them, she was sure she would be devastated.

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Mary Reagan took the mail from the mailbox and sifted through it. One, addressed to her son Joe Conor had a postmark from Rapid City, South Dakota.

"Must be from that girl from the camp he worked at last summer," she muttered. She slid it into the drawer of the table where she often put her keys. "I'll give this to him when he comes for Sunday supper," she said.

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"She had a mild stroke," the doctor told Lena's parents. "It seems to have wiped out a lot of her memory for the last two years."

"What caused it?" he father asked. Behind him, Lena's sister bounced her baby niece on her shoulder.

"It sometimes happens after childbirth," the doctor replied. "Except for the memory problems, she should be fine in a couple of weeks."

"Does she remember the baby's father?" Lena's sister asked.

"So far, no," the doctor replied. "She hadn't quite finished filling out the birth certificate when it hit." The doctor shrugged. "All that was written was Conor."

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Joe opened the drawer his mother had placed the letter in and pulled it out. She had been dying when she remembered it and told him where to retrieve it from. The profuse apology she offered had been sadly accepted by her middle son with a kiss to the forehead.

"After all," he told her. "You didn't do it with malicious intent."

Now, standing in the front hall of his parents' house, he held the long-forgotten letter in his hand. He shoved it in the pocket of the raincoat he wore and turned back to the gathering.

It was in that pocket three years later that he retrieved it. He looked at the wrinkled paper for a moment before turning it over and stopping. Did he really want to know what was written in the letter? How could he not?

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Joe opened the flip phone and scrolled down to "ICE Andrew Morgan" and hit the send button.

"Hello," a familiar voice said.

"Danny?" Joe asked.

"How'd you get this number?" Danny asked.

"I'm trying to call Andrew Morgan," Joe replied.

"He's my temporary partner," Danny told him. Joe could hear muffled shouts in the background. "And he's got his hands full at the moment. Just a sec." A muffled, "Freeze, Police!" came over the phone and two gunshots. Joe winced but kept listening in worry. Moments later, a new voice broke through.

"This is Detective Andrew Morgan," the breathless voice came through. "Danny says you're his brother. What do you need with me?"

"I'm actually calling from your wife's phone," Joe told him. "There's been an accident."

"Oh God," Andrew said. "What hospital?"

"Saint Ignacio's," Joe replied.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Andrew told him. "But do me a favor. Call Sally Dunham, the number's in Lena's phone. Tell her to pick Lizard up from school and bring her there."

"Will do," Joe replied. "Anything else?"

"Can you stay there until I get there? I want to know what happened."

"Will do," Joe said and shut the phone.

"What happened?" Andrew asked Joe upon his arrival at the hospital.

Joe told him the whole story except for the last when she told him he was her baby daddy.

"Her left humerus is broken," Joe told him. "That much I know because of the way her arm was when she came to a stop on the pavement. She probably has a concussion and she was unconscious for awhile…" he was interrupted by a yell from behind him.

"Daddy!" the girl hollered and ran down the hall into Andrew's waiting arms.

Joe had just enough time to recover from his shock before Andrew turned and introduced him to her.

"My name is Lizard," she said. "And I'm eleven."

"Nice to meet you Lizard," Joe said as he shook her tiny hand.

The little girl was just that, little. She swished her blonde hair out of her eyes, which sparkled blue with tears. She looked to be six or seven, but her maturity made him believe her when she said she was eleven.

It was the right age. The letter his mom had neglected to give him years before and lay forgotten in a drawer leapt to mind. Now, it was once again forgotten in his raincoat at home.

"Something wrong?" Danny asked his brother.

Joe looked at him suddenly, remembering that he had followed Andrew into the hospital ER.

"Don't know," Joe replied. "I'll let you know when I do.

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Frank held the unopened envelope as he sat at his desk in his private office on the top floor of 1 PP. He flipped it over and over in his hand, wondering what his son had thought was so important that he had to hide it. So important that he had to hide it, but leave it for Frank to find all these years later.

He picked up a letter opener from his desk and slid it into the end of the opening on the envelope flap. After a moment's hesitation, he slid it across the flap, cutting the envelope open. A single key dropped from the envelope onto the desk. On one side of the key was engraved the number 632, on the other, the name of a bank downtown where Joe had kept his accounts.

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"I've got a secret," Joe told Andrew.

Minutes before, he had burst into Lena's room. She didn't remember the accident, Joe helping or what she had told him. So, Joe made a decision. He led Andrew to the hospital's chapel.

He held up the now opened and long-lost letter Lena had sent over a decade ago. So much water had gone under that bridge, so much time and change. "And now," Joe said. "So do you."

Andrew looked puzzled but took the letter and read it. He read through and looked sharply up at Joe. "You're Conor," he said.

"Joe Conor Reagan," Joe said. "I dropped the Reagan that summer because my grandfather had just left the PC's office and I didn't want to be treated differently."

"What happened with this?" Andrew asked as he gestured to the letter.

"Mom got it and put it in a drawer when it came," Joe said. "I was away at school and she intended to give it to me when I came for Sunday dinner, but she forgot. Just before she died, I happened to mention Lena and she remembered the letter. I retrieved it, but left it in my coat pocket and, again, it got forgotten." Joe looked guilty.

"What brought it up now?" Andrew asked.

Joe told him the part of the story he had not relayed when he first met the man the day before.

Andrew rubbed his eyes. "You're kidding," he said. "Do you know why you never got the second letter after Lizard was born?" Joe shook his head no so Andrew told him. "Lena had a stroke about six hours after she was born. They caught it early so the only lasting effect was a memory block." He paced away to the middle of the room before he turned and looked at Joe again. "The accident might have knocked the memory loose or something." He shrugged. "In any case, it's gone now."

"How is she?" Joe asked.

"She has a skull fracture," Andrew replied. "She's awake and alert, but doesn't remember the accident at all."

"And she obviously doesn't remember me," Joe said.

Andrew shook his head. There was silence for several minutes before Joe sat on one of the back pews in the room. Andrew sat next to him.

"What's wrong with her?"

"I just…," Andrew began before Joe held a hand up.

"I'm talking about Lizard," Joe said. "Why is she so small for her age?"

"Hormone imbalance," Andrew replied. "She's been receiving treatment, but they don't think she'll ever grow to more than four feet tall."

Joe nodded. "Otherwise healthy?"

"Yeah," Andrew replied.

"Why Lizard?"

Andrew sniggered. "Her cousin is a couple of years younger and she couldn't say Elizabeth properly. It came out Lizardbeth. Eventually they dropped the beth."

Joe smiled. "You're a good dad," he said. "I could tell by the way she hugged you."

Andrew nodded. "You would be, too, I'm sure. She's a great kid."

"I am going to be a good father," Joe said and he leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees. "Which is why I am about to do what I am about to do." He stood and paced the floor up and down the aisle. "I want a DNA test to prove I am her father."

"Look, if you're about to say you're suing for custody…," Andrew began.

Joe held up his hand to stop him. "You just proved to me that I'm doing the right thing." Andrew looked bewildered. "By being concerned about my motives." He paused. "If I can prove I'm her real father, I can give up my parental rights and you can adopt her."

Andrew was shocked. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

Joe hesitated for two seconds. "Yes."

"What do you think Lena will say about that?" Andrew asked.

"You told me yourself that she doesn't remember me," Joe said. "No sense even telling her."

"She'll have to sign the papers to adopt," Andrew began.

"Tell her you found out you don't need the father's signature if certain conditions are met." Joe looked Andrew in the eye. "Then make something up."

Andrew looked incredulous. "You deserve to know your daughter. And she deserves to know your family. I've met Danny and I like him." He paused. "And I think this is the most generous offer I have ever gotten."

Joe scratched his neck. "You Catholic?"

"Yeah," Andrew replied. "But Lena's not."

"So Lizard isn't baptized?"

"No," Andrew replied. A light went off. "But when I adopt her, we can have her baptized."

"If Lena agrees," Joe put in.

"Would you like to be my daughter's godfather?"

Joe took a deep breath. "I'd be honored."

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Joe held the squirming little girl as the priest poured water over her forehead, saying said a few words in Latin as he did so. "I baptize thee Kira Elizabeth Morgan," he finished. He handed Joe a clean white cloth and he dried her head with it.

"Thank you," Lizard said. "And thank you for saving my Mom."

Joe swallowed the lump in his throat. "You're very welcome," he replied as they were surrounded by friends and family.

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Frank pushed the key into the lock and turned it. He lifted the lid of the box to find a large manila envelope inside. It was full and bursting with papers. Frank pulled it out and thanked the bank attendant for her help.

Back in his private office, he pulled the contents out of the envelope. On top was a photograph of Joe, Angie and the Morgan family after the adoption and subsequent baptism of Kira Elizabeth 'Lizard' Morgan. Frank reflected on it for a moment before setting the photo aside and moving on. Next was a copy of the baptism record, then, the original adoption papers at which Frank briefly wondered why they were included before doing a double take.

Under the official stamp authorizing the adoption was the name and signature of the father. Joseph Conor Reagan. See attached.

He flipped quickly through and found a DNA order sheet with results attached. Joe and Andrew Morgan had requested a paternity test and Joe was found to be the genetic and natural born father of one Kira Elizabeth O'Brian.

"Joe," he whispered. "What have you done?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Maahm!" Frank heard from inside the apartment. "There's someone at the door!"

"Then open it!" came the retort.

"Fine!" the first said before the door swung violently open.

Lizard stood in the doorway and Frank looked down at her. She still had Joe's eyes, hair and smile, and now he could see her features for what they were. His middle son's only daughter.

She had grown. While still diminutive, she had grown quite a bit in the ensuing years, to a height of at least four feet.

"Commissioner Reagan," she said.

"You remember me," Frank replied. "They still call you Lizard?"

She shrugged. "Not so much any more," She replied. "It got shortened to Liz."

Frank nodded once. "Was that your mother I heard?"

Liz nodded. "Yeah, she's here." She pointed over he shoulder with one thumb. "You want to come in?"

"Sure," Frank replied. "How have you been doing?"

"Not bad," she replied. "I'm going to John Jay College and majoring in Criminal science. I want to be a cop, but mom wants me to get as much schooling as possible so if I can't physically do the job, I can be useful in other areas."

Frank followed her into the living area. "Seems sensible," he said. "My son Joe went to John Jay."

"I know," Liz said. "I saw the plaque in the atrium. And I remember him."

At that moment, Lena came into the room from the hall. Several paintbrushes were in her hand and there was a streak of paint on her cheek. She stopped short when she saw Frank. "Commissioner Reagan," she said, startled. "To what do I owe the honor?"

Frank pursed his lips. "I would like to talk to you. If you have the time."

"Sure," she said. She waved to the couch. "Have a seat."

Meanwhile, Liz carried a basket into the front hall and sat it down before grabbing a rag from the sink and wetting it. "Mom, wash your face. You've got paint on it."

Lena rubbed at the paint on her cheek as Liz turned to Frank. "I'd like to stay and visit, but I just stopped to do my laundry and get some food," she told him. "I have an early class tomorrow." She paused at the door. "My dad always spoke highly of you. It was nice to see you again."

Frank found himself beaming with pride as she waved and left. He took a breath before joining Lena on the couch. "You still doing sign language?" He asked as he set the briefcase he had brought on her cluttered coffee table.

"I'm teaching art at the deaf school on 112th street," she said as she placed the brushes on the table. "Why are you here?"

"Right to the point," Frank said as he opened his briefcase. He pulled out the manila envelope and closed the case before laying it on top. "Joe left this for me."

"I still don't see what this has to do with me," she said.

Frank sighed. "I don't even know where to start." So he pulled out the photograph.

"What is this?" She asked as she took the picture. "Ha! Liz's christening." Gently, she fingered the memory in her hand. "Andrew fought like a bear for that after the adoption cleared."

"I remember being there," Frank said. "Joe insisted." He paused to remember. "He said it was because she was his first godchild. He wanted me there." He looked up at Lena. "Now I know the real reason why."

Bewilderment was evident in Lena's face so Frank drew out the adoption papers and attached DNA results. "I did not know any of this until I got the papers out of the safe deposit box," he told her.

Lena looked through the papers but was still confused. "I understand, but I don't." She shook her head. "Joe is Liz's father."

"The proof is right there," Frank told her gently.

Lena leaned forward to hold her head in her hands. "I can't remember," she said. "I've got photographs of people I don't remember that my parents said was from that camp, but I don't remember."

Frank gripped her hand. "I know it's not your fault."

Lena squeezed Frank's hand momentarily before she let it drop. "Why would Joe and Andrew do this?"

Frank shook his head. "I don't know."

"What is the rest of this?" Lena asked as she waver her hand over the rest of the papers in the envelope.

"A lot is notes from your husband," Frank told her. "Reports on how Liz is doing." He leafed through the papers. "And a copy of her baptism record."

Lena shook her head. "Why wouldn't Andrew…," she trailed off. "Leave something for me," she continued thoughtfully. She disappeared down the hallway to the bedrooms leaving Frank to be puzzled in the living room.

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Andrew dropped the deposit box key into the envelope, not knowing that his recently killed friend had done the same just weeks before his murder. He sealed it and dropped it in the drawer of his bedside table as his wife came in rubbing her wet hair with a towel.

"What's that?" she asked as he closed the drawer.

"A surprise for Lizard," Andrew replied.

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Lena dug through the drawer until she found the wrinkled envelope, her name written in Andrew's script on the front. She took a moment to run her fingers over it and turned to go back only to find Frank in the doorway.

"He said it was a surprise for Liz," Lena said as she stepped forward. "I didn't think anything of it because her birthday was coming up. It was the night after we attended Joe's funeral." She held the envelope out to him.

"Open it," he said gently.

Lena nodded and looked down at the envelope. After a moment's hesitation, she ripped it open and dumped the contents into her palm. The number on one side, the number of the box it was to, was 129 and it was for the bank they had had their accounts at since she had moved to New York.

She held it up. "Would you come with me to see what's there?"

Frank nodded. "Be glad to."

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Lena turned the key in the box and opened it to find several envelopes stuffed in a folder with copies of the same papers that Joe had left for Frank. Under it was a small photo album filled with pictures of Liz and Joe. Lena handed the album to Frank and followed him back to his PC SUV.

Once they were on their way, Lena opened the folder and took out the envelopes. There were four of them. Three were in Andrew's handwriting and addressed to Lena, Liz and Frank, but they were surprised to find that the fourth, also addressed to Frank, was in Joe's handwriting.

"I suggest we head to 1 PP," Frank said to her. "We can go to my private office where we won't be disturbed."

"Good idea," Lena nodded.

Once there, Frank sat down and picked up the letter opener and efficiently open the envelope with Joe's handwriting.

He had dated it at the top with a date Lena knew well. "That was the day I was released from the hospital," she said. "I got hit by a car saving a child's life. I had some pretty bad injuries."

"Which you obviously overcame," Frank pointed out.

Lena nodded. "I remember Joe being around a lot after that."

Frank nodded and read the two page letter out loud.

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"Dear Dad," Joe wrote on the unlined sheet of paper just under the date. He stopped to contemplate what he should write, then went on.

"A few days ago, I rescued a woman that I had known in camp. You remember that year before I started at John Jay College? She was another counselor I remember as Lena O'Brien." Joe paused in his writing to contemplate his next words. He paced for a minute before gathering his thoughts enough to go on.

"As she was lying on the ground after having been hit by a car, she recognized me and told me I was her baby's daddy. I recognized her, too, but she passed out before I could figure out or ask what she was talking about. Later on, though, I met her daughter. She was the right age and I could see me in her face. So I talked to her father, who, as it turned out, was not really her dad, but her step-dad. After a lot of discussion with him, it came out that I am indeed her father. I came up with this plan. Andrew Morgan is a wonderful father to her and he dotes on her as if she were really his child. So I decided to give her to him… legally and forever. As in adoption. But since Lena doesn't remember me or that I am her daughter's father, we kept it a secret from her." Joe paused again, but went on more quickly than he had before.

"Andrew insisted that I be given the chance to know her, at the very least, as a friend and so agreed that I should be her Godfather. I want you to know her, too, Dad. She is sweet and loving and Andrew and Lena have done a great job raising her. I hope someday to tell you these things in person and explain why I did what I did. My intent is not to hurt you or the rest of the family, but to make sure she is happy and healthy and most of all, loved. For now, this is the best thing for her. I hope you can forgive me for this, and I hope you can get to know your other granddaughter as well as you know Nikky…"

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"…I also hope that on the first Sunday after you read this you will raise a toast to her, her mother and the father who raised her. They are, after all, family." Frank finished. "Love, Joe."

He looked up to see Lena's tear streaked face across the desk from him. "I don't know whether to be angry at him and Andrew for hiding this from me," she looked up at Frank. "From us…" she amended. "Or sad that this didn't come out sooner."

Frank, for his part was silent, so Lena held up the note from Andrew to Frank. "Perhaps you should look at this one next."

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Lena and Lizard had been asleep for hours but Andrew couldn't sleep. Joe had been a good friend and although he had a bad feeling like there was something more to his friend's death than met the eye, he couldn't shake the feeling that something could possibly happen to him, too. So, carefully, without waking Lena, he got out of bed and went into the living room.

Sitting at the desk, he turned the desk light on and pulled out the letter Joe had given him after the christening and turned it over in his hands. He grabbed a tablet from the drawer. He began to write then crumpled the paper and began again.

"May 16, 2009," he wrote at the top of the page and then stared at the blank page before beginning the letter anew.

"Dear Commissioner Frank Reagan," He began. "I write dear not because you are dear to me, but dear to my best friend, Joe." He sighed as he went on. "As I hope for you to become to my daughter, Lizard." He scratched out Lizard and replaced it with Elizabeth before going on. "I hope that Joe's note will be read first and that by the time you read this note that you will know that Joe is her true father." He paused, unsure of what he wanted to say next.

After leaning back and staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, Lizard broke through his reverie. "Dad?" she asked. "You OK?"

Andrew turned to pull the sleepy child into his lap. "I don't know, honey," he told her.

"Mom told me that Joe died," Lizard said.

"How does that make you feel?" Andrew asked.

"Sad," she replied. "Uncle Joe was fun. I liked him."

"I'm glad you like him," Andrew told her. "I was just trying to write a condolence letter to his family."

"Oh," she said as she cuddled into his arms. After a few minutes, she sighed then yawned and stood. "Tell them I'll miss him, too." She headed back to her room.

He watched her disappear down the hall and turned back to his letter. He read it through then picked up the pen once again.

"I had always wanted to be a father when Lena and Lizard came into my life. My parents died when I was in college and I have no other family to speak of. Lena and Lizard… they are all the family I have left. Joe is gone, and I considered him my brother. He gave me a great gift. He gave me his only daughter." Andrew paused before continuing. "I hope that you can understand the choices that Joe and I have made and forgive us for them…"

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"… and I also hope that you can help Lena and Lizard understand these truths. Family comes in all form, whether genetic, through friendship, through marriage or through experience." Frank paused in his reading to clear the lump from his throat. Voice breaking he continued. "And so I end this note to you dear Frank. In the hopes that things come out as they were meant to." Frank took a deep breath. "With much sympathy and warmest regards, Detective Andrew Morgan." He folded the letter back up and put it back into the envelope.

Lena pulled a tissue from her pocket and wiped her eyes before blowing her nose. "I don't even know what to say," she said.

Frank shook his head. "I don't either."

The silence went on for so long that it started to become awkward. "Why don't I see what he has to say to me," Lena says. "If it doesn't say anything too personal, I'll read it out loud." Frank nodded and held out the letter opener for Lena to use. She took it and slid the pointy end through the flap.

She skimmed through it before she took a breath and began to read. "Dearest Lena…"

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"I hope I have told you enough how much I love you. The best day of my life was the day I married you…," he wrote then crumpled the paper, deeming his words as too corny. So he began again.

"Dearest Lena," he wrote. "I promised to love, honor and cherish you and here I have been lying to you. Tonight, we arrested the people who are really responsible for Joe's death and the man who pulled the trigger killed himself in front of everyone. I am more than angry. I am damn pissed off! No justice for Joe except the relief that it is over. And worse, our daughter does not get to know he was her real father."

He stopped, tempted to crumple it again before his resolve pushed him on. "You're probably wondering how I know this. When Joe saved your life after the accident, you recognized him and blurted it out before you passed out." He paused again. "After meeting Lizard, he told me this and we figured it out together. He insisted on a DNA test and arrangements for the adoption but I couldn't let him do that without concessions. So we agreed that we would have Lizard christened and he would be named her godfather. That way, he could know his daughter. We kept the secret because you couldn't remember and he didn't want to upend our life." He stopped to rub his temples. He picked the pen back up so he could continue. "But now, you know. And Lizard will know. And I want you to go to Joe's family and make them know and understand…

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"…That what we did was not out of malice but out of love. I love you and Lizard so much it hurts sometimes, but you need to know the truth and you need to know your family," Lena sniffed. "Love, Andrew."

She looked up at Frank. "Well, grandpa," she said. "What do we do now?"

Frank sat silent for a moment. "There's a note there for Lizard, isn't there?" Lena nodded. "I think it's time to give it to her."


	3. Chapter 3

"Meet me at JR's for lunch," the text read.

Liz had been in class when she got the text so was just reading it she rode the escalator in the Joseph Reagan Atrium of John Jay College. As she passed the bronze plaque with his likeness, she stopped to send her mother a reply. "12:15 good? Jst lvng." She stopped to wait for the reply and examined the plaque.

Joe's image had always popped out at her and she found herself passing close enough to the plaque every day to run her fingers across it. He had been her father's best friend and her godfather albeit not for long. Running into Commissioner Reagan the day before had brought her weird habit to the forefront and made her remember the man she knew as Uncle Joe.

Her phone beeped and she checked it. "Prfct CU there," was her mother's response. With one last touch to the bronze image, she exited the building.

Just outside, she ran into a bearded man with a fedora, dropping the books she carried. She let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry, little one," the man said as he bent to pick up her books. He towered over her much like Commissioner Reagan had the day before and she felt the old ache of missing both Joe and her father.

"That's OK," she said.

"I think you dropped this," he said as he held up a locket on a slender chain.

"That's not mine," Liz told him.

"Are you sure?" the man asked. "There's a name engraved on the back."

Liz examined it to find that there was indeed a name engraved on the back. Kira Elizabeth. Shock coursed through her and she looked back up only to find that the man had disappeared. She fingered the locket for a few seconds then shoved it in her pocket and started down the street.

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Liz Headed to her mother's favorite booth only to find it empty. "She's in the back," the waitress told her before she could ask. "Come on. I'll show you."

Liz followed the waitress to the room in the back which was only used for private parties. "Do you know what's going on?"

"She told me she needs to talk to you," the other woman said. "So, here you are. Have fun." She went back to her work.

In the private room, Lena sat alone at a table near the door. When she saw her daughter, she stood with a smile. "Liz," she said. "Sit down. We're just waiting for someone else."

"Who?"

"You'll see," Lena said. She pulled an envelope from her bag and lay it on the table in front of her. "While we wait, I think you should look at this."

Her name was written on the front in her father's hand. "This is from dad?"

Lena nodded. "I don't know what's in it," she said. "I found a key to a safe deposit box I didn't know he kept." She gestured to the envelope. "That was one of the things in it."

"You don't know what it says?"

Lena noticed Frank in the doorway, but looked at her daughter. "I think I might know what it's about," she said. "But you'll have to read it to find out."

Slowly, Liz opened the envelope only to find not just one note, but two. One was from Andrew while the other was from Joe.

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"When the time comes to tell her the truth," Andrew began. "How are we going to explain our reasoning?"

Joe paced back and forth in the aisle of the hospital chapel. He stopped. "We tell her now," he said.

"What, wait," Andrew sputtered. "She's eleven. We can't…"

Joe stopped him. "NO, I mean… write her notes. Now. While we know why and can explain it to her." He gestured in the direction of the nurses' station outside. "We get some paper from the nurse and write the notes. Then we seal them in an envelope and put them away where she won't accidentally find them."

"Like a safe deposit," Andrew followed his train of thought.

"Yeah, yeah," Joe exclaimed. "And when she's older, maybe in college, we'll give it to her."

"What if one or both of us aren't here to give the notes to her?" Joe looked at him. "We're cops, Joe. It is not entirely out of the realm of possibilities that one or both of us would be killed in the line of duty."

"Leave the key where Lena would find it if something were to happen," Joe suggested. "She'll find it and nature will take its course."

Andrew nodded. "OK," he agreed.

Ten minutes later they sat at a table in the deserted cafeteria writing their notes on hospital stationary.

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"There's two," Liz said. "One from Dad and one from Joe. Which should I read first?"

Lena glanced up at Frank who shrugged. "Read the one that was on top."

Liz lay the letter from Joe on the table in front of her and began to read the letter from her dad aloud. "Hiya Lizard," she began. "Here's to hoping this letter finds you well…"

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"What the hell am I thinking," Andrew said. He started to ball up the paper only for Joe to pull it from his grasp. "Don't do that," Joe told him. "Keep going and write from the heart." He gave the paper back. "You'll be fine."

He stared at the paper. "Today I met your father," He wrote. "You're real father. The father that helped make you." He paused to rub his eyes. "And he made the decision that you should stay with me as MY daughter."

Andrew paused and watched Joe struggle with words of his own. "He has given me a great gift. The same gift he gave your mother all those years ago. I know this is going to be hard to read, but it is true. I hope that between now and when you get to read this, you get to know Joe and his family… that Danny has been my partner the past few days and he is a little crazy… and learn to love them like you do your mom and me." He stopped then looked down and realized he had not explained why. "Your mom remembered him for a brief moment when she was hit by the car, but she doesn't anymore. Someday, I will explain to her the whats and whys and hows, but for now, we're just going to let things stay the way they are with one exception. He wants to make sure it is legal, so I am going to adopt you. And, just so he stays in your life now that he is in it, he's going to be your godfather…"

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"…Remember," Liz read through her tears. "I love you. You are my daughter and I your Dad, now and forever. Love Dad Andrew."

Liz put her head down on the table for a minute. Lean looked up at Frank and signaled for him to stay where he was. "You OK?" she asked Liz.

She sat up. "Yeah," she said. "I knew dad wasn't my real dad, but I never imagined he'd find my real dad. My birth dad." She held up the letters. "Did you know this?"

"Not until yesterday," Lena replied. "That's why Frank stopped by the apartment."

Frank decided then to make his presence known. "I didn't know until the day before that."

Liz turned at the sound of his voice and stood up. She barely came to his armpits and she looked up at him. "What now?"

Frank opened his arms. "I think a hug would have to be in order."

Liz wrapped herself into his embrace and sniffed.

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Joe gave back the paper that he had taken and looked down at his own still blank save the hospital letterhead, sheet. What could he say to the kid, the daughter he had fathered but had never known? He fingered the letter he had opened only today, the one mailed a lifetime ago—Lizard's lifetime. And he bent over and began to write. "I got a letter from your mother today. I knew her from a camp that we both worked at. She was teaching classes in sign language besides doing what I was—being a counselor. We hooked up at the end of the summer and when she found out that you were coming, she sent me the letter. When it arrived at my parents' house, my mom put it in a drawer intending to give it to me when I came for supper on Sunday. She forgot. She remembered when I mention your mom as she was dying in the hospital and told me where to find it. During the reception after her funeral it moved to the pocket of my coat where it waited for three more years until I opened it this morning." Joe paused in his writing to watch Andrew write for a few minutes. "I was shocked to find that, eleven years ago, I was to become a father. She promised a second letter, but it had never come." He tapped the pen thoughtfully in an effort to find his next sentence. When it came he continued. "You, however, did. And you grew and your mom met the guy you know as your dad. You have a happy family that I don't want to disrupt." He stopped as if he wanted to get the courage to say what he wanted to say next. "The moment I saw you and realized that you were, indeed, my daughter, I felt like I would burst with joy, then die with sadness. All because you already have a dad. Someone to love you and take care of you and take you to baseball and basketball games. That wasn't me. It could be me, but that might make you hate me so, I am allowing your Dad to adopt you. I will try to be in your life in my own way by way of being your godfather, but your dad is your DAD. Try not to hate him for his part in this…"

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Liz took a breath and read the last of the letter. "I love you so take care of your Dad AND your Mom and I will be happy for you all. Love your other father, Joe." Liz paused to notice a PS. "There's something else," she said and read the last line below his salutation. "PS. I found this pretty locket in the gift shop with a lilac spray on the front. Lilacs are your mom's favorite flower, so I am having it engraved with your name for your next birthday…" She stopped suddenly. "No way," she whispered.

Lena and Frank both looked puzzled. "What is it?" Lena asked.

"I never got that locket," Liz asked. "Did I?"

Lena shook her head no and looked to Frank

"Angie would have given it to me if she had found it in his things," he said.

She pulled the locket out of her pocket. "But I have it now," she said as she showed it to her family. She told them about her encounter with the bearded man in the fedora.

"Maybe it ended up in a thrift store after Joe's death and the person who bought it dropped it there," Lena suggested.

"Maybe," Frank agreed then changed the subject. "About dinner on Sunday…"


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter is very short, but it is the last. The dinner scene and a surprise guest.

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"You want to tell me again why we are waiting to serve dinner?" Henry sat at the far end of the table from Frank, which was surrounded by the rest of their family.

The doorbell rang just then and Frank got up to answer it. "That's why," he said. "Add two more seats."

"Why?" Henry asked as everyone else rearranged themselves to account for two extra people.

"We have guests," Frank replied as he re-appeared around the corner with Lena and Liz.

The family greeted them as they sat down and settled in.

"Frank?" Henry began. "Have you secretly married Ms. Lena or is there another reason this lovely lady and her daughter are gracing our table?"

"I've… uh, we've had an interesting week," Frank began. "It seems that Liz here…" he stopped, not knowing how exactly he could soften the blow.

"Joe is my father," Liz blurted. "Just say it."

Frank nodded. "Joe is Liz's father."

After several long moments, Jamie broke the stunned silence. "How did you learn that?"

"It's a long convoluted story," Frank said. "And it starts with a letter…"

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Frank sat at his desk the next evening, finishing some paperwork. He had sent his detail to dinner and Detective Baker home, so he was the only person on the floor. He signed the last page and closed this last file before sighing. He turned to the shelf behind him and looked at the new framed photo that graced his collection of mementos. It was of Lena and Liz with Joe and Andrew on each end.

"I wish you'd have said something sooner," he said into the room.

"Sorry bout that," a voice replied.

Frank turned to look at the bearded man in a fedora, which he removed. "I thought you were supposed to be in witness protection," Frank said.

"You're not surprised to see me then?"

"Liz told me about the locket," Frank replied. "I'm slightly surprised to see you here."

"Yeah, well I thought I had blown things at Andrew's funeral when I gave Lizard that bouquet of flowers," he replied.

Frank was quiet as he stared at the man. "I knew it was you, Joe," Frank told him. "But what are you doing here, now?"

"I heard Angie was getting married," Joe said. "Saw it in the paper." He tossed his hat down on the coffee table then sat and put his feet up next to it. "I thought things might finally come out since I put the key in her grandmother's jewelry box." He sighed. "Hated to do that to her, but I knew she would use some of that jewelry to have her grandma there in spirit." He looked back up at his father. "Wanted to let you know I'm OK."

"Good. Now go back to where you should be," Frank ordered.

Joe stood sharply and saluted his father. "Yes, sir!" he said and relaxed his stance when Frank saluted him back. "I had the locket in my pocket when I was shot. I wanted to make sure Lizard got it."

"She goes by Liz now," Frank told him. "And you should have just brought it to me."

"I was going to do that," Joe replied. "Then I ran into her and gave it to her on a whim."

Frank nodded. "I'll buy that," he said. "Now go back in before someone sees you, recognizes you and shoots you dead for real this time."

Joe retrieved his hat from the table and put it on. "I'll see you later," he said.

"I sure as hell hope not," Frank replied as his son disappeared through the door.


End file.
